Mrs Mojo
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How to stop being a harassed parent

Summary 

  • You can stay calm and in control, without needing to shout at your kids

  • Go to the room they are in, get to their level, look them in the eye and clearly explain what you’d like them to do and by when

  • Give them a choice, but of only two to three things

  • Set limits and rules and stick to them – no negotiations, no backing down, no guilt trips and no falling for false tears

I learned quite fast that shouting at your kids gets you nowhere. It’s a learned behaviour from generations before us who didn’t have all of the facts and figures to hand like we do now.

Shouting only creates resentment with your kids and they’ll end up just ignoring you or shouting back to you. canstockphoto8929446

So, when you feel stressed and harassed try these techniques instead:

  • Stop your shouting and go to where your kids are. Get down to their level, look them in the eye and tell them clearly what you’d like them to do and by when
  • Have clear rules and stick to them. Consistency is the key. If you make up rules as you go along your kids won’t know if they’re coming or going
  • Give a choice of two to three things maximum. When you give your kids too much choice it’s not giving them independence, it’s putting too much pressure on them. They need boundaries so that they feel safe and secure
  • Set limits and stick to them. If you start to give in to decisions or negotiate on the things that shouldn’t be negotiated on, then your kids know that they can wear you down. Explain briefly why you’ve made the decision you have and leave it at that
  • Don’t be fooled by crying. Your kids can turn on their tears when they want, so don’t feel guilty or bad if they start to cry and you know it’s to try and make you change your mind. Give them a hug, let them know you love them and explain your decision, but don’t change it
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